Do you still have your period?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She told me I should be a condom model.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
