Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
