The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
