Christians are straight up FREAKS
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
