I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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