he shaved USA in his pubs
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
