this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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