its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
