Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
