watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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