you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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