Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My liver just had a heart attack.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
