so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
