allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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