I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
