i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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