So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
