I heard we made out
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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