Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Who died my cat blue again?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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