I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Drunk is not a location!
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
