is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
