I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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