You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
