As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I can't turn off my feet"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
