Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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