she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
