Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
