I smell stomach acid.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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