I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
