Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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