I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
