I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
