I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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