On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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