What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
