I cut my penus on the lid.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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