Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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