My friends, they love my intelligence
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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