I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
