I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
