i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
