just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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