I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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