So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
