what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
