i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
