I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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