the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
