Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
