Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
