i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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