that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
