see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
